 Both in Greatfalls, Mt. back from Iraq E-4 Specialist Kimberly Pelkey (Blakeley) and E-4 Specialist Bradley Blakeley joined the Army starting out on different paths and from different areas those paths would ultimately cross in Iraq. Pelkey wanted to be in the Marines. She wanted to be airborne, but the Marines only allowed men in the airborne program because it was considered a combat role and her eye sight was bad so she failed the Marine’s physical. That is when she was approached by the Army. The Army did let women into their airborne program so Pelkey signed up. Her Army contract had her in boot camp, them AIT for 77 Foxtrot, then jump school. By the time jump school came around, Pelkey had troubles with her knees and then embraced her MOS at 77 Foxtrot, fuel supply. What was your training for your MOS and what was your job? Boot camp was at Fort Jackson and AIT school (Advanced Individual Training) was at Fort Lee, Virginia. PVOC (Petroleum Vehicle Operator's Course) training was in Missouri. I learned to operate fuel vehicles and big tankers. Was your job dangerous? We got to the war just after Jessica Lynch was rescued. We watched that on the news just before we deployed from Fort Lewis. We knew we would be stepping into harm’s way yet on the other hand we had no idea what to expect. I never fired my weapon and I was personally not on the receiving end of small arms fire, however we were taking fueling trucks and tanks on roads where IUDs and roadside bombs were everywhere. We would convoy fuel to smaller camps and vehicles outside of camps. The camps were rough in the beginning of the war. The tents didn’t have floors and so you were literally living in a sand pit. There were no latrines either in the first camps. We would cut barrels in half and use those then burn it. The camps were vulnerable to mortar fire and came under fire on several occasions and by the grace of God we didn’t have any injuries or deaths. We did have a RPG fired through our concrete barrier while I was on guard duty one early morning, but the mortars were the scariest. What prompted you to serve? I always wanted to be in the military. I remember hearing that song… “All that you can be” as a preschool age child. What were some of the greatest challenges you faced? Freedom at 19, I had a lot of growing up to do. The majority of the time I was under a chain of command, but when I did have personal time, making the right choices. Also you have to learn to get along with other people from different areas and other walks of life. What was the most rewarding experience? I enjoyed the military and I liked being part of a team. I also liked experiencing every area of the Army in my eight and half years; Active duty, inactive duty, active reserve and then back to active duty. I enjoyed being on post and deployments. I also met Jesus during the deployment, while we were in Kuwait, waiting to convey up, into Iraq. I was always searching for happiness in the next adventure. I wasn’t able to live in the moment. I remembered thinking, is this it? Is this all there is? When I met Jesus I finally found love and peace. How did serving affect your family? My parents had two children in Iraq at that time, so I imagine they were nervous. My siblings were proud of me. My first husband and I met in the Army when I first enlisted. We married and had two children. When we divorced I was far away from my family and didn’t have a circle of support. I also needed to make extra money and the Army was already something I knew how to do so I went active reserve then got called up after 9-11. That meant I also had an ex-husband back home with two small children. I was gone for fifteen months and that separation was extremely difficult. When soldiers have to leave their families behind, it is always difficult. I was a solider before my husband or children came along. Being in the military is something I am really proud of. Whenever I step back onto a base, I really miss that. On the other side of it, I hope I am not in a situation where I get separated from my family again, but I was proud to do my part when I was called upon. When you choose to serve your country, whatever your reasoning, you just do it! You raise your right hand and you swear to God that you’ll defend your country and when you are called upon it is not on your terms. You can’t suddenly say, “Oh this isn’t what I was expecting…” What were the advantages to serving? There is a difference between going to college for four years or enlisting for active duty service, not to mention going on deployment to an overseas conflict. It teaches you how to deal with people and prepares you for life in a different way. It’s never about what you think is best for yourself or what you want. You are a willing servant. What are the disadvantages? When I came home, after a long pity party, I learned that trauma is trauma. When I came back I was super hyper vigilant and felt I was alone in my struggle to adjust to motherhood as a single person with a lot of anger from the deep pain I experienced. I wasn’t in combat, I didn’t kill anybody, and I didn’t lose a limb, but I was a divorced 24 year old female with two very young children living in fear of knowing I might not come home to them. For me the trauma was separation and not knowing if I would come home and the guilt that came from that. The bottom line is no matter what your experience in deployment, when you come back to civilian life or station, you still have to process that, because trauma is trauma. Everything happens for a reason. God is always good! I found my salvation while serving America in a war zone and I met my second husband at that time. I discovered there is a greater purpose and it’s not about me…It’s so much bigger than that! Kim and local children in Al-Hilah, S. of Bagdad Multi National Camp | Brad in front of concrete/sandbagged bunker | Kim at Ancient Babylon |  E-4 SP Blakeley with a sand spider in Iraq E-4 Specialist Bradley Blakeley was with the United States Army Reserves 1996-2004. He was 77F now 77A Fuel Supply Specialist. Fuel storage and distribution including operating fuel vehicles, 969 tankers and TPU (Tank and pump unit) as well as the typical duties of a soldier. What was your training for your MOS? Eight weeks in Fort Lee, Virginia with lots of classroom work to learn about Hazmat and handling hazardous materials. We also studied fuel operations from storage, to pipelines, to railroad operations, to sling loading, fuel pumps, measuring fuel storage and recirculating fuel. This was mostly for JPS fuel. What did you like most about serving? I liked being part of a well-trained team that was directly serving our country. I loved wearing the uniform. What prompted you to serve? I always wanted to be in the Army. I actually went to basic training my junior year of High School and then right after my senior year I went to AIT for my MOS training. What were the biggest challenges you faced? Basic training was tough, but not too much of a challenge. However, my deployment to Iraq was surely the greatest challenge during my enlistment. Overcoming what the deployment brought on a day to day and surviving it. What was the most rewarding experience? Serving overseas in a conflict and coming home to a grateful nation. How did serving affect your family? My mamma was worried a lot, but she was proud to be the mother of a soldier. What advantages did you face re-entering civilian life? I felt as though employers would look favorably on hiring a combat veteran. It taught me how to overcome adversities and challenges. You can persevere through more than you think you can. What disadvantages did you face re-entering civilian life? It was difficult for a period of time. I was used to a military setting and when I came home there was no order. What is your advice to someone who is thinking of serving their country? I would highly encourage them. Choose your MOS carefully. It is a very rewarding experience. Personally there is nothing like putting on a uniform and serving your country! Join the Air Force! E-4 Specialist Kim Pelkey and E-4 Special Brad Blakeley met at Fort Lewis just before a deployment that took them into Iraq to serve on the same fuel team. After the deployment was over they continued to keep in touch and today are married and share a blended family. THANK YOU SPECIALIST E-4 KIM PELKEY BLAKELEY AND SPECIALIST E-4 BRAD BLAKELEY FOR YOUR SERVICE!
 CW2 Trailson Moore, Camp Zama, Japan I am honored and proud to introduce my son-in-law, Black Hawk Pilot CW2 Trailson Moore and his wife (my daughter) Kayla Moore. Most of us forget about the family that is supporting and serving alongside every soldier. We are thankful for their service in the air and on base, back at home.
Moore is a Black Hawk Pilot CW2, MOS 153 Delta UH 60 serving the Army at Camp Zama, Japan. His duties are to fly the UH-60 helicopter, and be tactically and technically proficient.
Why did you Join the Army? I joined for the training and experience I could gain from the Army as a pilot. What do you like best about the Army? The opportunity to travel and see the world. Doing what I love as an Aviator. It’s been nice to be able to do that as a family so far. What was has been the most challenging part of your Army career so far? Going through flight school was tough. In training you need to make sure you are prepared and ready. The best part of training was flight school graduation. The hardest part of training was SERE School (classified). The maneuvers involving muliti ship formations performed low & fast with lots of radio traffic can be challenging as well. You must be alert and listen carefully. It’s also challenging to be away from home.
Where was the training and prep for your MOS? I attended the US Army flight training school in Fort Rucker, AL.
What has been your favorite experience so far? Flying in Okinawa and working with Special Forces.
What was the most rewarding experience? Being able to provide a safe and secure home for my family.
How does serving affect your family? Again, it is hard when we are apart.
What is your advice to someone who wants to fly Black Hawks? If it is something you truly want to do then go for it. Get a warrant officer packet and go to flight school. The only way you have to choose your ship is to outdo all of your classmates by studying, working hard and being in the top of your class. THANK YOU CW2 TRAILSON MOORE FOR YOUR SERVICE!  CW2 Moore, wife Kayla, sons Holden & Jaxson in Japan KAYLA MOORE As a wife, what do you like best about the Army? I like that it has taken us to places we would never have gone before and given us a chance to meet some of the best people. We have made some great friends along the way. What is your advice to other Army wives? (Does it help to join organizations on base and which ones are you involved in?) Yes, I do think it helps to join organizations. Whether it's something on or off base. It can be a good way to meet and get to know people, and also keep you busy when your husband is gone. I have been involved with MOPS(mothers of preschoolers) which is an off base group. As for on base, I've been a part of PWOC, Protestant Women of The Chapel and FRG, Family Readiness Group. Overall, how do you feel this experience has been for your family? Although it's come with some challenges, I feel our overall experience has been really good. It has helped us to become adaptable to change and to be ready for anything. I also feel very blessed that my husband is able to fly and do what he loves and that I am able to be with the kids. THANKS TO KAYLA AND ALL ARMY WIVES EVERYWHERE FOR THE SUPPORT THEY GIVE TO THEIR SOLDIERS AND OUR COUNTRY!
 E-6 Darrell Bain, right; Sergeant Gary Bain, Left. Taken in Chu Lia, Vietnam Today I am honored to salute two brothers who served in Vietnam. Former E-6 Medic Darrell Bain and Captain Gary Bain, (Distinguished Flying Cross & Purple Heart recipient to name a few), had the unique experience of serving some of that time together. Darrell had an opportunity to act as courier to where Gary's F-4 unit was during his first tour. Both brothers have impressive service records and both brothers today share their experiences through either books or media.
THANK YOU CAPTAIN GARY BAIN AND E-6 DARRELL BAIN FOR YOUR SERVICE! FORMER E-6 MEDIC AND AUTHOR DARRELL BAIN
I first enlisted in the Air Force in 1956 and was trained as a Surgical technician but also worked in the delivery room, emergency room and ran a surgical clinic. I served two years in Bermuda and two years at Dyess AFB in Abilene, Texas. I was discharged from the Air Force in 1960 then enlisted in the Army. I first worked as a Pharmacy technician then re-enlisted for Medical laboratory training. I was the Honor Graduate of the basic laboratory school and later went to the advanced laboratory school for one year where I was again the Honor Graduate. I also attended the Army’s CBR warfare school (Chemical, Biological and Radiological) and was the Honor Graduate. Awards were the usual service medals and campaign medals. My final rank was E-6. In addition to working in the fields listed above, I ran the 541st Medical Dispensary Team in Vietnam and volunteered to go to the isolated villages to treat Vietnamese civilians. During my second tour of Vietnam I was in charge of the laboratory at the 17th Field Hospital for the first few months then asked for a change of station to Da Nang when my brother Gary arrived in Vietnam. We managed to get together three times before I rotated home and got out of the Army to go to college. I ran the parasitology department of the lab at the 95th EVAC Hospital until I was discharged.
What did you like most about serving? I believe I liked the training in self-discipline most and helping injured and sick troops and civilians. I enjoyed my field trips out to the isolated villages the most where I saw many different kinds of diseases I would never have seen in America, particularly parasitic infections.
What prompted you to serve? At the time of my first enlistment only days past my 17th birthday I had no idea what I wanted from life. I decided that enlisting would help me find some kind of work I enjoyed and it did.
What were some of the greatest challenges you faced? Some of the biggest challenges was learning to react swiftly in emergency, life or death situations in surgery and the emergency room and later in Vietnam.
What was the most rewarding experience? My time in the villages where I treated Civilians who had never seen a doctor in their lives. Many times I feel I saved lives and helped cure some children of bad diseases such as parasites, anemia, fungus's and the like.
What was the training and prep for your MOS? The Air Force and Army schools were some of the best training anywhere at the time I attended the schools. I was discharged from the Army in February 1969 and can only hope the present day training is as good.
How did serving affect your family? Did they find their part of service rewarding? My parents were proud of me for being in the service so long and for volunteering twice for Vietnam duty. At one time all three of us brothers were in Vietnam. My wife at the time didn’t think so much of it, though, and we were divorced soon after I returned from my first tour.
What opportunities or advantages or disadvantages did you have after reentering civilian life? The utmost advantage was the G.I. Bill which enabled me to go to college and obtain a degree in Medical Technology. I was the first and only one in my family to graduate from college. The discipline taught in the service helped me immensely in school. Later on when I was without medical insurance I was able to go to VA clinics for treatment and drugs which I probably couldn’t have afforded at the time.
What is your advice to someone thinking about serving their country? Before enlisting, decide why you are doing so. Is it to serve your country in return for the benefits gained form living in America or is simply for the financial advantages later? Either case, decide if you are prepared to face death if it comes to that and know that your comrades will be depending on you, just as you will be on them. In general I believe that a term of enlistment in any of the branches of the military will prepare you to face civilian life with much more confidence, knowledge and knowing the value of comradeship. If the military is not in need of that many young men and women I believe we should have some equivalent service they could sign up for to help our country. It would also help the youngsters in more ways than they could possibly imagine.
Darrell Bain Fictionwise Author of the Year Multiple Dream Realm and Eppie awards
See all my books at http://www.darrellbain.com
 MEDICS WILD MEDICS WILD When the Williard brothers get going, any resemblance to a real war is purely coincidental! Sgt. James Williard uses his position as the hauncho of a medical dispensary in Vietnam as a base, while he and his crazy medics turn the war zone into a party zone. Williard's two brothers, Jerry, a naval ensign and Jason (Jumpin' Jase) the Marine fighter pilot who regularly loses 15 million dollar planes join the fun and then it is like no war ever recorded. Wilder than M*A*S*H, a hilarious romp! A fictional novel but events based upon true episodes. I have also authored another book with Will Stafford, a helicopter pilot titled Complete Toppers.
MARINE F-4 PILOT CAPTAIN GARY BAIN I enlisted in the Marine Corps in Aug of 1959. Served as an electronics technician for six years attaining the rank of Sergeant. I started flight school in Pensacola FL in Oct ’65 as a Marine Aviation Cadet and received my wings and commission Apr 17 1967. From there I transitioned to the F4 Phantom at Cherry Point NC then went to Vietnam in Aug ‘68. My first squadron in ‘Nam was VMFA-323 and in Apr ’69 was transferred to VMFA-115. On my 213th mission I was shot down and was medevac’d to the Pensacola Hospital in FL. I had sustained a broken arm and leg as a result of a high speed ejection in Laos. I was down about three hours in an extremely hostile and heavily defended area of the Ho Chi Minh Trail. The A1 Sky Raiders and other supporting aircraft paved the way for the Jolly Green chopper to rescue me. One of the A1’s as well as the chopper that picked me up sustained battle damage from enemy gunners. Out of Vietnam I received a Distinguished Flying Cross, 15 Air Medals, a Purple Heart, a Navy Achievement Award for my work in Rescue and Survival Training for air crews, a Combat Action Ribbon and two Good Conduct medals for my service while enlisted. In 1971 I was accepted as one of the first ten pilots to fly and pioneer the AV-8A Harrier, a vertical take-off and landing jet. I flew Harriers until 1977 and retired in Oct 1979 as a Captain.
What did you like most about serving? I loved flying jet aircraft, especially the Harrier. I also received my Water Safety and Survival Instructor rating and served in that capacity training aircrew for land and water survival my last two years in the Corps. I felt I was well versed and qualified in that area as I had to eject from an F4 at night over the South China Sea while in ‘Nam as well as when I was shot down. I also ejected the third time from a Harrier that flamed out on me in Feb ’77.
What prompted you to serve? I dreamed of being a Marine Corps Aviator from the time I was 10 years old. Seeing the movie “Gung-Ho” and watching the Blue Angels on TV intrigued me.
What were some of the greatest challenges you faced? The greatest challenge I faced was attempting to shed the guilt of losing my backseater when I was shot down. Having lived a life of sobriety now for about 20 years I have found closure and am at peace with myself.
What was the most rewarding experience? The most rewarding experience has been looking up my rescuers from when I was shot down in Laos and hosting a reunion for them on my 40 acres here in OK. There, 40 years later to the day, I gave them my personal thanks for saving my life. I am presently producing a documentary of that rescue.
What was the training and prep for your MOS? Knowing I was accepted for flight school I attempted to get myself in shape physically for the rigors of what I knew was going to be a training syllabus that was extremely demanding. It paid off as at the end of 16 weeks of pre-flight I won the prestigious position of Regimental Commander.
How did serving affect your family? Did they find their part of service rewarding? It is my belief that the wives of Marine Corps pilots as well as other family members are extremely proud of their service even with the inherent hardships of deployments and separation.
What opportunities or advantages or disadvantages did you have after reentering civilian life? Personally I flailed around doing a bit of everything and was drunk most of the time. But when I woke up 20 or so years ago and put the bottle down my life turned around. I’ve led an adventuresome life. Sky-diving, riding horses, searching for gold, scuba-diving just to name a few have left me with many fond memories. And I continue to seek adventure.
What is your advice to someone thinking about serving their country? My advice to any young person thinking of going into the military is to take advantage of everything that is offered. Learn your assigned skills and the skills of those above you as well. Stay happy, stay motivated and seek higher responsibilities. And seek wisely the counsel of your elders.
Gary Bain owner of VideoExplorers.com Adventure · Research · Production "Dedicated to preserving culture, history, and tradition"
 T.L.Gould T.L. Gould served in the U.S. Navy from September 1968 to April 1971. He was an E3 Radioman and awarded the National Defense Ribbon. The author of How Do You Mend This Purple Heart, Gould shares with us his time serving in the US Navy.
1. What were your duties?
During the six months following boot camp the Navy trained me to operate ship-to-ship and ship-to-shore communications equipment and protocol. After graduation from radio school, I received orders for duty aboard the destroyer escort ship, USS Furse. It would have been an eight-month goodwill tour out of Norfolk, VA to the Mediterranean Sea and on to the Red Sea. However, I spent the next 15 months in the U.S. Naval Hospital, Philadelphia, PA. due to a severe car accident. So, my MOS and duties were extremely interrupted. The core of my enlistment was spent recovering from the accident and sharing life with young Marines wounded in Vietnam, with whom I had the greatest honor to share some of my life’s most difficult and wonderful experiences.
2. What did you like most about serving?
Unexpectedly and to my surprise, and many others, I enjoyed boot camp. Prior to my enlistment I was pretty much direction-less in what I wanted to do in life. With seven children in the family and my dad as the one income earner, college was not an option. I knew at the time even if I had the most minuscule opportunity to go to college, I would have failed at it. Boot camp gave me the discipline and focus that I needed at that time and I went home on my first leave a very changed person—so much for the better.
3. What prompted you to serve?
My dad served in the Navy during WWII as a gunners mate both in the European Theater and the Pacific. He was wounded while serving in the Pacific defending his ship against Japanese aircraft near Okinawa and was awarded the Purple Heart. I also had two older brothers serving in the Navy at the time I enlisted. I can remember my mother placing the three Blue Star flags in the living room window.
4. What was some of the greatest challenges you faced?
Waking up in the Navy hospital after being unconscious for four days was a life-changing moment for me. Before enlisting in the Navy, I had “pledged” my enlistment to join the Marines with my best friend under the “Buddy System”. We would have more than likely served together in Viet Nam. Instead, I elected for the Navy, so when I regained consciousness and saw the twenty or so wounded Marines on the ward, I was overcome with guilt and shame. The decision to back out on my best friend and the Marine Corps still haunts me today.
5. What was the most rewarding experience?
The most significant and rewarding experience was the ultimate acceptance by the guys in the hospital. I was a Navy non-combat so-and-so, and it was months before I could gain their respect and friendship. It culminated in their proclamation of making me an “Honorary Marine”.
Also, during my rehab months in the hospital, Q Ward, I was given light duty and I was assigned to the hospital’s Special Services department. It was my “job” to enlist 20 to 25 guys every Friday, Saturday and Sunday to attend Welcome Home functions sponsored by local VFW, American Legion, Knights of Columbus and other organizations. These events were clam bakes, picnics, fishing excursions and pot luck dinners. I took my responsibilities seriously and with the greatest gusto to ensure that the guys could get away from the boredom of the hospital and thoroughly enjoy themselves for a few hours.
6. What was the training and prep for your MOS (Military Occupational Specialty)?
I attended basic electronics school in Great Lakes Naval Training Center and Radio School in Bainbridge, Maryland.
7. How did serving affect your family? Did they find their part of service rewarding?
My mother was very proud that she had three sons serving at the same time. With one son serving on a mine sweeper, one son serving in Vietnam and the third son recovering in a hospital from a car accident, we kept her emotions on a roller coaster.
8. What opportunities or advantages or disadvantages did you have after reentering civilian life?
The Navy gave me the maturity and discipline I needed to get my life in focus .I really don’t think I would have achieved that level of adulthood on my own—at least not by the time I was twenty-two. I graduated from the University of Akron, Akron, Ohio utilizing the G I Bill and then went on to obtain a Masters in Business Administration degree from Baldwin Wallace University, Berea, Ohio. 9. What is your advice to someone thinking about serving their country?
Think about it. Don’t shrug off the opportunity. Don’t look at the military as a last resort. More young men and women should be proud to serve this country—it has given us so much, so give something back. It may be only four years, but it’s something that lasts a lifetime, and no one can take that away. How Can You Mend This Purple Heart
By T. L. Gould
“How Can You Mend This Purple Heart” peers inside the hearts and minds of amputees struggling to heal from the ravages of war, and chronicles a journey of love, redemption, sorrow and joy; a journey of pain and anger…and a journey of hope. But most of all, a journey of the human spirit and its triumph over the most impossible odds.
In this riveting first novel, author T.L. Gould draws upon his experience recovering in a military hospital to create a plain truth, no-holds-barred narrative, stark in its simplicity, detail and humor. From dressing changes and morphine drips to off-site forays under a fence and into neighborhood bars and brothels, Gould chronicles the precipitous journey to recovery of the men of Ward 2B: how they learned to walk again, to love again and to triumph over crippling injuries.
purpledoodle@att.net.
THANK YOU T.L. GOULD FOR YOUR SERVICE!
On June 14, two hundred and thirty-seven years ago, the United States Army was established to defend our Nation. This 237th birthday commemorates America’s Army – Soldiers, Families and Civilians – who are achieving a level of excellence that is truly Army Strong. http://www.army.mil/birthday/237/
Welcome Home! 5 Tips for Reintegration Written by Kiona Strickland| October 24, 2011 The day a service member returns home from deployment is one of the happiest and most eagerly anticipated days in the life of any member of a military family.
The following months are a wonderful time full of re-connection and re-discovery, but they can also be stressful and challenging. A family member who has just spent a year in a combat zone needs time to readjust to domestic life, and people who have spent a year apart need time to learn to live together again. The military calls this process reintegration.
Here are some important things to remember to make the transition as smooth as possible.
- Talk about your expectations. Most of us in military circles are familiar with the old adage about what happens when we assume. It is a good idea to discuss reintegration before the service member deploys, throughout the deployment, and just before homecoming. Ask questions as you think of them, and if you catch yourself making an assumption, be sure to discuss it. When my husband returned from this deployment, I expected him to come home, realize what a hard time I had without him, and spend some of his block leave helping around the house and trying to re-instate our romance. He was mentally and emotionally exhausted and seemed to shut down. Conflict ensued which could have been avoided by communication. If your spouse has been through a deployment before, it is a good idea to ask how (s)he usually feels and behaves immediately afterward. Don’t be afraid to talk about anything.
- Avoid major changes. In general, deployed service members say they want to return to the same home they left, so changing it up before they arrive may be disruptive. My husband tells a story about a soldier whose wife liked to prepare for his homecoming by replacing all the household linens. She was trying to make him feel special and give him something nice to return to, which is something we all want to do for our partners; he found it disorienting and frustrating. After multiple deployments, he finally told her that all he wanted was to come back to the same home he left, towels and all. Continuity is important. Try to avoid redecorating or rearranging furniture before homecoming. After the service member comes home, it is still a good idea to avoid major changes- such as moving, getting a new pet, or changing schools or jobs- until you have both adjusted to being together and at home again.
- Respect each other’s experiences. Understand that each of you has endured a great deal during deployment, and you both have healing and recovery to do. The service member has just returned from a completely different world and may have had some very stressful or traumatic experiences; suddenly returning to a domestic setting is a positive change but may still be disorienting. The spouse has just spent a year alone, often without knowing where his/her partner is or whether (s)he is safe, and that experience can take a mental and emotional toll which is often underestimated or overshadowed by the deployment itself. You will both need some time to recover from the immediate effects of those stresses.
- Be patient with each other. You have both just had an incredibly difficult year, and you are both making some major adjustments now. You will both have changed in some ways during the past year, either because of what you have been through or because you have simply developed some new habits and quirks. It will take some time to figure out how to fit those changes into the framework of your life together, and in the meantime they may seem frustrating or even hurtful. Be patient, and communicate tactfully but openly. If you have children, be patient with them, too. It may take some time, especially for very young children, to become comfortable with an adult who has been absent for a year; remember that a year is a very long time when you are only four or five.
- Consider counseling. Seeing a counselor does not mean that your marriage is in trouble or that either of you is “crazy.” Sometimes just having an objective sounding board can help you both understand the other’s perspective, and a counselor can offer more specific advice for your family’s situation.
Above all, remember that you love each other; from love will come patience and understanding, and those things plus communication will see you through deployment, reintegration, and all the other challenges life brings. Shared from www.militaryfamily.com
A big THANK YOU to all those who have served and have given their lives for our Country in the past and many thanks to those who are serving today in all branches of the Arms Forces. We are proud of you, support you and pray for you!
Congress recently authorized an expansion for the role played by female troops in combat zones. There’s been a lot of attention paid to this, but it’s actually a relatively small change that only codified in law the reality on the ground for the last ten years. In reality, very little has changed. Women are still barred from most combat arms professions – especially the infantry and tanks. What Congress did, here, was to allow women to serve in theater at the battalion level – which was thought to be too close to actual combat situations prior to Afghanistan and Iraq. Which means there are still 230,000 jobs – roughly one-fifth of the positions in the active component – in the military that are still off-limits to women purely because of the circumstances of their birth. There aren’t traditional front lines in war any longer. The past ten years of constant war has taught us that. Unlike in conflicts past, when there was a fairly clear delineation between territory contested by combat and territory thought to be “safe,” the nature of counterinsurgency has shown us that the enemy can be – and often is – anywhere. A gaggle of Taliban fighters is, in fact, more likely to attack a supply convoy than a patrol of infantry fighters, because they understand that the warriors on the convoy aren’t as highly trained as the infantrymen. Thus, a ban on women serving in posts “close to combat” no longer makes any sense, because any place in any country where a counterinsurgency campaign is underway is close to combat. Of the nearly 6,000 troops that have died in Iraq and Afghanistan, 144 of them were women. None of them were on the “front lines.” There is some method to the madness, here. But it doesn’t make a lick of sense in the long run (insert joke about Congress here.) The government is merely saying that women have already been in the thick of things for ten years – they might as well be “allowed to” by law. Which makes this entire thing a charade; a correction of a bureaucratic oversight does not a civil rights victory make. This is not a victory for women. Congress’ leap of logic is missing an accompanying conclusion – since women have been in the thick of things for ten years, fighting and dying for their country as valiantly as their male counterparts, they should have been authorized to begin serving in combat roles. At the very least, our armed services are long overdue for a plan to implement a repeal of this egregious policy that discriminates on the basis of gender. I have personally served with many women and men – there are some men I would follow into battle under any circumstances, any time, because they have led me and I trust them. There are some men that I wouldn’t trust to eat an MRE without biting his own tongue and needing to go to medical. It’s the same with women. I’ve had female counterparts that I don’t think could fight their way out of a wet paper bag. I’ve had female leaders who have inspired me, and who I know I could trust with my life, and who I would share a fighting hole with any day of the week. When the topic comes up, the laundry of lists of challenges to women serving in combat inevitably gets trotted out: Women aren’t as strong as men. They can’t, on average, perform as well under a combat load – in fact, many can’t wear a combat load and still remain mobile – they can’t run as fast, their endurance isn’t as great, etc. ad nauseam. The Marines, especially, refuse to compromise their standards – if someone can’t perform at the level we demand of Marine Corps infantrymen, they can’t be Marine Corps infantrymen. They’re not incorrect – America needs her Marines to be extraordinary people capable of achieving extraordinary feats. There are also logistical challenges. Women and men need to be segregated when sleeping, showering and during basic hygiene. There also seems to me to be a very high danger to women not from the enemy, but from her fellow service members; as long as sexual assault remains the prevalent problem within our ranks that it does, sending women out to a forward operating base, surrounded by men, creates a highly dangerous environment for them. These are challenges, not insurmountable obstacles. The Marine Corps – or any of the branches of service – doesn’t need to lower their standards. They merely need to give everyone a shot to meet them. If you can’t cut it, you shouldn’t be in the infantry. If you can do everything that’s required of infantrymen, you should be allowed in the infantry. Yes, this excludes most women from that particular job – if for no other reasons than those that are purely biological. But if there’s a standard by which we can judge someone to be fit for combat, regardless of sex, then everyone deserves a chance to try and live up to that standard. If the military wants to avoid the stickier parts of officially sending women into combat by continuing to field Female Engagement Teams and continuing to enforce the present segregation of the sexes, then by all means, it’s understandable (for the present moment, given on-the-ground reality, and as long as it’s on an enforceable timetable to fully integrate the service in a reasonable amount of time.) We can, and will, overcome the thorny sexual issues that come along with the desegregation of sexes in a fighting force. It will take training, it will take professionalism and it will take a monumental effort on the part of officers and noncommissioned officers in all branches of the service. But we’re the brightest and best professional fighting force in the world – if we can’t do it, it can’t be done. And I assure you that it can be done. We need to allow women the privilege to actually fight for their nation, not just to work the mail room or staff the chow hall. Any soldier would rush to tell you that he or she doesn’t believe in “second-class” soldiers in the military. But the policy, as it stands, creates a de facto underclass of soldiers who are told that they are incapable before they are tested, who are robbed of a chance to earn what all of their counterparts are able to earn, who are unable to show the true grit and toughness of their patriotism and desire to serve America. In the Marines, we say “We’re all Green.” You can either do the job or you can’t – it doesn’t matter what you look like. This is a radically egalitarian idea, and one that pervades all of the branches of the Armed Services. And it’s exactly this attitude that has led to one of the great meritocracies of the modern era. The military has always preceded great social change by half a generation – just look at racial integration of the service, and the recent repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. The military has always been a paradox in this way, being a quintessentially conservative organization that continually leads the way on social progressivism. Women have been in combat for a long time; like men, some make great fighters and others don’t. It’s long past time the military recognized this and put steps in place to fully integrate our female fighters into combat arms occupational specialties. The recent steps taken by Congress are a start, but without a full framework, we’re still failing our fellow service members who are already taking the fight to the enemy every day. See more on New Rules for Women in Combat
Written by Gabriel Coeli | February 15, 2012
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